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Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be

I was recently reviewing a book about college admissions. In doing so, I thought it would be good to research the answer to a simple question, “how much does the college you attend matter in your future?” I have three children (two currently in college and one in high school) so I wanted to share my findings with them and others. This post summarizes the research, finding that where you go is not who you’ll be. Read on for some simple advice for high school students and parents navigating the college admissions process.

Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be

Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be Book Cover

The 2015 bestselling book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania by Frank Bruni, explains that graduating from a top-ranked college or university is far from a guarantee of future success. Actually, the most successful people in the world are likely to have attended a less prestigious college or state school.

Bruni and others have found that prestigious colleges often get mentioned in personal bios whereas lesser-ranked schools are not. This gives the impression that only prestigious schools matter. You can check this out for yourself. Look up the backgrounds of the top-CEOs, politicians, and thinkers you respect, and you’ll find that most attended regular universities. Some likely didn’t even graduate from college!

The College Admissions Process is Too Stressful

So, is the focus on getting into the best schools worth it? Bruni and others argue it is not.

Over the past few decades, the college admissions process has become one of the largest stresses for many high school students. Students and parents resort to resume stuffing, test prep, tutors, prep schools, and criminal conspiracy all to look good on the college application! Students sometimes feel like “their futures have been ruined” if they receive a B-grade in high school, hurting their GPA.

Stress at the high school level carries over to college and has resulted in the growing use of anti-depressants. I even know one prestigious college where anti-depressants are prescribed to over 50% of the students. Why does the stress of the admissions process continue once you succeed in your goal?

Why You Shouldn’t Go to Harvard

We all form self-assessments, not on comparisons with the rest of the world but with others in our immediate circle. This is known as “relative deprivation theory,” which explains why even top students become depressed.

Watch Malcolm Gladwell describe relative deprivation theory and explain why it is better to be a “big fish in a small pond” at college in the video below.

Picking a Degree Program

The degree program you focus on and graduate from is a much larger factor than the school you attend. The biggest benefit to attending a prestigious school is the network you obtain and the chance to meet a future partner. But the degree program you select will:

Nursing Graduate
  • Allow you to apply for certain higher-paying jobs right out of school. A 4-year program in biomedical engineering has higher earning power than one in elementary education or social psychology.
  • Make it more likely you are in demand. For example, a nursing degree program has demand all over the country (and world). It is also unlikely to be replaced by technology in the future.

I encourage parents and guidance counselors to help their kids choose the program best suited to their skills and will maximize their future earning potential. Research degree programs to see statistics on the percentage of graduates who obtain jobs after graduation and the average pay at these jobs.

Is Borrowing for a College Education Worth It?

Both of my children currently in college are taking out modest amounts of debt to fund their education. When is debt worth it, and when is it not?

This post will not cover student loan statistics or all of the issues with debt. I do believe in investing in your future (check out Rule 2 of my 10 Rules for Life about investing in your mind and body). But, I also suggest avoiding debt that is more than one year’s salary in your expected future career.

The students who struggle the most with debt are those who attend college for several years using debt but never obtain a degree that increases their earning power.

My Advice to High School Students

When it comes to choosing what to do after high school, here are five key points:

Volunteer
  1. Consider your natural strengths and determine some possible career paths. If you aren’t sure where to focus, don’t be afraid to spend a year working or volunteering to learn your natural strengths. For many, not attending college and learning a trade is the best choice.
  2. For those who attend college, never select the best college into which you are accepted. Instead, choose a school where you can focus on your natural strengths and be a top student in that area. A study recently found that the average SAT score at the most selective college students apply to turns out to be a better predictor of their earnings than the average SAT score at the college they attended.
  3. The choice of your major in college is more important than the school you attend. A public school teacher with a degree from Harvard is going to earn the same as any other teacher with the same degree. Choosing a major that opens up high-paying job opportunities will provide you with major advantages in earning power later in life. And your experience will be more important than both the college you attended and your major after 3-5 years on the job.
  4. Be careful with college debt. Some debt is okay and may help you take your studies more seriously. However, be wary of debt when it isn’t necessary or doesn’t provide much experience.
  5. High school students (and their parents) should relax and understand that the college you attend is just a tiny factor in your future. You will likely have more success by developing your skills and experiences. Remember the growth mindset. What matters in the end are students’ efforts in and out of the classroom, not the college name on their diploma.

Summary

Please share this blog post with the high school students and parents of high schoolers that you know. Hopefully, they will be able to relax more once they realize that where you go is not who you’ll be.

Please share additional thoughts on the college admission process and your experience after graduating from high school in the comments below.

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